I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
