they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
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