Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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