I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
