she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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