Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize