wakey wakey hands off snakey
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
