At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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