I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
