I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
