im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
