Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
