Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
