I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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