No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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