this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
