I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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