He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
