The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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