that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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