Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
