the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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