I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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