My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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