Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
