You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
tell me about the fingering
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
