i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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