Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
someone owes me an orgasm
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
