i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
