The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
