So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
