Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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