i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
