i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
