Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
