I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
