Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
