when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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