In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
