So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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