So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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