dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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