I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
