maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize