I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
