I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
