She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
