Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize