Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You're like the curious george of whores
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
