oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
