i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
