what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize