who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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