how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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