I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
