I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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