walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
