Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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