Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
