people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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