Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just gift wrapped bread.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
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