I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
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he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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