do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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