I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
