i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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