hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
high people should be assigned attendants
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize