Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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